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DBD Transcript 3.23.16

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Judy

March 23, 2016 – 5:52 pm
Good evening and welcome to all!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 5:53 pm
Hi Judy, thank you! How are you?

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 5:53 pm
(I know I’m early)

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 5:53 pm
Very well, Laura! I am so pleased that you joined us. I am still thinking about your sweet Mimi!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 5:54 pm
You are sweet! Thank you. I did the candle ceremony online last night, it was beautiful.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 5:54 pm
Kathryn will not be able to join us tonight. I will be the facilitator. Please feel very free to let us know how you are doing. We are here to support you!

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 5:55 pm
Oh, I have not done the candle ceremony. What was it like?

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 5:55 pm
Thanks for holding this & my best to Kathryn, I hope she is well.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 5:55 pm
Thanks, Laura. She is fine and had another commitment.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 5:56 pm
It was through petloss.com & they do have the text on their site

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 5:56 pm
How are you guest362? Is there anything you’d like to share?

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 5:57 pm
Great, I will check it out. Your Mimi has a sweet spirit about her in the photo. I see why you miss her so much.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 5:57 pm
She seemed to be quite tiny, is that correct?

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 5:57 pm
Plus, that’s the thing about the ceremony I never thought to do (alone), also why I’m taking it so hard, she was the only living being in my life. & most loving…

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 5:58 pm
She was just under 5lbs! Holland lop

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 5:58 pm
It was a thoughtful ceremony, & nice to do it w/ others, albeit online.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 5:58 pm
How are your pups?

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 5:58 pm
It’s true that our babies can be the most loving beings in our lives!

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 5:59 pm
I hope that you know that you have me and others in this group in your life too!!!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 5:59 pm
From that script, “When you bring a pet into your life, you begin a journey -a journey that will bring you more love and devotion than you have ever known, yet also test your strength and courage. If you allow, the journey will teach you many things, about life, about yourself, and most of all, about love. You will come away changed forever, for one soul cannot touch another without leaving its mark.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:00 pm
You & Kathryn are true blessings! I learned that of site from the books she sent.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:00 pm
How beautiful and so true! Abby is hanging on and doing fairly well. She got subcutaneous fluids today.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:00 pm
That helps a lot, right?

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:01 pm
I feel the same about you, Laura! Yes, she does much better on the days that she gets fluids.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:01 pm
Thank you so much! That means more than you know.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:02 pm
I am wondering how long you had Mimi and how you found each other…

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:02 pm
Is she eating well?

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:02 pm
Sometimes she eats, other times not so much. It’s a chicken day today!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:03 pm
I got her in March for my birthday (tomorrow!) in ’07, & she was around 2 months. Funny thing, my grandma is the one who fell in love w/ her first, I wanted a black cat (bc I had a name picked from Wicked on broadway, haha)

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:04 pm
Do you ever have to force feed?

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:04 pm
What a wonderful birthday gift you received! It was meant to be that you found each other. Happy birthday in advance!

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:05 pm
No, not yet. I have been able to figure some creative way to get her to eat most days.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:05 pm
She was hamster sized & grew visibly every day And thank you!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:05 pm
Awwww, bless

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:06 pm
How did you pick Abby?

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:06 pm
I have always been moved by the pure sweet natures of bunnies. We had a few when I was young and I fell completely in love with them. The lops have always caused me to smile!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:06 pm
Awww! I love that you’re familiar! They are so full of personality, no less than any other pet I’m sure.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:07 pm
Abby and I found each other at the Humane Society in 2000. I had never been there and did not know that I would ever have a dog. One look at each other, and we were in love.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:08 pm
Hi Denise and welcome! How are you doing this evening?

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:08 pm
No doubt!! I played w/ a dog over the weekend, I really would love one but am honestly nervous…Buns are so easy that way.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:08 pm
I am doing OK, thank you

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:08 pm
Hi Denise, how are you?

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:09 pm
Diamond is still doing well so I feel very blessed

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:09 pm
We are happy that you have joined tonight, Denise. Kathryn is unable to be with us and I am helping out as facilitator. Please feel very free to share with Laura and me.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:09 pm
Wonderful to hear that.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:10 pm
Oh, I am so pleased to hear that Denise!

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:10 pm
OK. How is everyone doing?

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:11 pm
Coping better, thank you for asking.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:11 pm
I am missing my Bailey who died in 2015 while Abby is hanging on and doing OK.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:11 pm
It has occurred to me that I miss snuggling with him at night very much!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:11 pm
Awww, of course, & I bet Abby misses him, too.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:12 pm
She does.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:12 pm
What treatment is Diamond getting, Denise?

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:12 pm
Love, & hugs to both of you.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:12 pm
Thanks, Laura!

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:13 pm
The 20 mg of pred each day is really helping her joints and COPD

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:13 pm
How awesome that she’s responding well!

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:13 pm
OK, great. Is it a pill and does she take it easily?

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:14 pm
The doctor and I agreed that we will keep her on this dosage for another week or two before we see if it can be decreased

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:15 pm
It sounds like you have a good doctor and a sensible plan.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:15 pm
No, not easy and I feel bad cause she takes 16 pills a day. Sometimes I give her a little peanut butter with it

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:17 pm
Yes, since Raven died I have found some excellent vets and we work together as a team. They listen to my concerns

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:17 pm
That is so important.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:17 pm
My babies have always been pill resistant. Peanut butter is a great idea!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:18 pm
Do you end up crushing them, Judy?

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:19 pm
Peanut butter and provolone cheese does wonders but she has a very sensitive stomach and both can cause an upset stomach at time. Or it could be all the pills too

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:19 pm
Yes, crushing and mixing with water in a syringe. Even then, it’s a struggle.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:20 pm
We have to be courageous and creative in caregiving for our babies!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:20 pm
A cute vet once said, during my force feeding failure, to say, “You have your little victory now, Mimi, but we’ll meet again later!”

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:20 pm
Have either of you experienced the “grief bursts” that Kathryn sometimes mentions? I am sometimes surprised by sadness over the loss of Bailey for no apparent reason.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:21 pm
Yes, we do. Regarding peanutbutter, I purchase it from farmers market or make it myself so there is no oils added

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:21 pm
Oh, very good point Denise. I had not thought of that!

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:22 pm
Yes, Judy. They are less frequent

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:22 pm
Absolutely, Judy. I actually, in a moment of insanity (?) sat on the spot I used to sit w/ her. I tear up in the happiest moments.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:22 pm
Oh, Laura. Did you have to force feed for long?

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:23 pm
Actually, there was several incidents (for lack of a better word) throughout her life. Always quickly recovered, which is why last Sept. hearing she had “hrs” was soooooo shocking. & she beat that anyway, to give me 3 months.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:23 pm
But in that last stretch, it was more & more frequent toward the end :'(

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:25 pm
How fortunate Mimi and Raven were to have such dedicated moms and caregivers! Did either of you memorialize your babies? I found posting a memorial to Mr. Bailey on the Day by Day site to be very healing.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:26 pm
On this site or the facebook page?

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:26 pm
On this site!

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:27 pm
It’s under Life after Loss.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:27 pm
I have a shelf for Sheppie and Raven. The shelf has their ashes, one of their stuffed toys and a picture. I cannot open the cards yet. But everyday, several times a day I look over to the shelf and smile. Sometimes I even talk to them

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:28 pm
Thanks, just found it! I wrote a letter to her (not posted), & she, too, has a shelf next to an ornament my grandma made for Thumper (my childhood bun, hence the oh, so original name, lol)

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:29 pm
How lovely, Denise. I have a similar spot for Bailey on a table. I bought an African Violet on the day he passed. He has not bloomed again until this week. It’s quite a gift!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:29 pm
I have a locket & lots of pics. What I need to do is about her urn…I hate that it’s blue Pink ribbon…maybe.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:30 pm
That’s so lovely, Judy!

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:31 pm
I only got the cheapest urn for Bailey thinking that I would get a better one. It’s green with flowers and not at all manly. I can’t bring myself to getting another and transferring the ashes yet.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:31 pm
To get Diamond to eat and keep her eating, she gets steak and potatoes (yellow or sweet). So I laugh and say to her, Sheppie’s not happy that you get steak and potatoes all the time

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:31 pm
I am also cooking steak and sometimes potatoes for Abby!

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:32 pm
The other choice for her is Boston Market rotisserie chicken. I know it’s not healthy, but she refuses to eat anything else.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:32 pm
Exactly, about transferring! (I had no say in the urn) I’m still in shock from the call to say they had her “ashes” I wasn’t ready for that word :/ These days, esp., I miss the feel of her soft body in my hands…..

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:33 pm
Aw, bless you for catering to her tastes! I love & get that! In the end, it was “feed Mimi anything she’ll eat” & cilantro didn’t always agree w/ her, but so it was.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:33 pm
It’s funny. She won’t each chicken anymore. Must be steak. When I thought it was short term, she was getting strip steak. It’s come down to much cheaper piece

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:34 pm
I agree, Laura. I am sleeping hugging a stuffed animal some nights.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:34 pm
Great idea.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:34 pm
Yes, I have switched to a thin sandwich steak.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:35 pm
My girls are still in the boxes they gave me. I really like Sheppie’s

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:35 pm
Denise – Laura and I shared earlier about how we found our babies (or how they found us). Care to share your stories?

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:36 pm
Yes! I thought it was just me, a “friend” made me feel horrible about the box!!!!! Blue box, blue streamers, blue urn. Even the receptionist, when a gent commented on my bunny, “He’s sick” the receptionist was like, “She’s a GIRL!!”

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:36 pm
It would be too hard for me to transfer their ashes

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:36 pm
I agree.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:39 pm
We got Sheppie when she was a puppy. She was a Christmas present for my daughter. She saw her at the SPCA in Syracuse, NY. We were on a waiting list. I went back and the person before me did not pick her up. So we got her. She was very independent and smart as can be. Always liked to get out the fence. That was our baby. We were blessed to have her for 14 years.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:40 pm
I just remembered that I saw on FaceBook that today is National Puppy Day!

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:42 pm
I grew up in Syracuse, what a nice connection. Can you remind us what breed she was?

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:42 pm
It was meant to be if the other person never picked her up!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:43 pm
I love that city! Pleasant memories, haven’t been since there was the Carousel Centre.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:43 pm
And she’s in good hands

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:44 pm
Sheppie was a Shepherd-Chow mix. Looked like a puppy Shepherd but had a black tongue. Very gentle disposition. Small dogs would nip at her and she would not bit back

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:44 pm
I consider Syracuse to be my home. We lived there for 10 years and still go up to see friends

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:44 pm
Wow, what a nice mix. No wonder she was smart! Was she as big as a shepherd?

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:45 pm
No, people always thought she was a puppy. At most she got to 65 pounds

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:46 pm
I was born in the city, then we moved to Split Rock/Camillus. I went to West Genesee High and Lemoyne College. I love that your baby came from such a wonderful city! Very friendly folks in Syracuse.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:46 pm
I love adult dogs that still look like puppies. Abby is like that. She looks a bit like a miniature golden retriever (or a fox).

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:47 pm
I was heart broken when she died. She waited until I got home to tell me goodbye. My son sat by her until she passed. I could not do it. I told her I loved her, it was OK to go, that I loved her and would see her at the Rainbow Bridge

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:47 pm
Was she able to pass at home?

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:49 pm
Yes she passed at home. It was extremely hard to see her die. I love that fact that she went on her own and at home, but have you seen an animal die. Watching her take her last breaths

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:49 pm
Her eyes. I cannot forget how her eyes looked

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:50 pm
I went to the Rescue and all the other dogs were running around and barking but she was just laying there. She seemed so depressed and I thought she needed a home and based on her disposition, she would get along with Sheppie.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:50 pm
That is Diamond

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:50 pm
Sheppie could have done without her but Diamond was attached to her

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:51 pm
How lovely that you rescued her too. What breed is Diamond?

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:52 pm
Diamond is a bassett hound-pointer mix. After Sheppie died, people were telling me that I would feel better if I got another dog. That’s how I got Raven. I got her a month after Sheppie died.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:53 pm
What an interesting combination! I am trying to picture her…

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:55 pm
And finally, what breed was Raven?

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:55 pm
Raven was a Bassett hound. She was 8 yrs old and I got her from the Mid-Atlantic Bassett Hound Rescue. When I saw the picture of her, I said that I did not want her because she was very thin so figured something must be wrong with her. But they were anxious to get rid of her and when I saw her, she was adorable. I immediately fell in love with her

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:56 pm
I am happy she was in my life if only for a short time

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:57 pm
She’s lucky to have you, too.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:57 pm
I miss her. I want a do over

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:57 pm
They all sound extremely sweet, Denise. They were very fortunate to find you, as Mimi was with you Laura!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:57 pm

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:57 pm
Thank You

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:57 pm
I can relate to wanting a do over. I sometimes wonder about cloning Abby and wish I had done so with Bailey.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 6:58 pm
All of our children were lucky and blessed to have had us as their parents

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:58 pm
Yes, we all did and continue to do our best for them.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 6:58 pm
Thanks for those kind words.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 6:59 pm
I find my kindred spirits on this chat to be extremely kind, caring and devoted caregivers. I include both of you!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 7:00 pm
Thank you. It’s an honor to meet friends who share these feelings.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 7:00 pm
I put so much emphasis so Reven, I hope Sheppie knows that I love her as much

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:00 pm
Before I forget, Kathryn asked me to tell you that the next chat will be on April 10th at 7:00.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 7:00 pm
Thank You Judy

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 7:00 pm
Marking my calendar, thanks.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:01 pm
I felt the same way when Bailey was so sick, Denise. I am sure that she understands. Abby apparently did.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 7:01 pm
Yes, talking to you too and everyone on this site has helped me. I am able to express my feelings without being judged

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 7:01 pm
It’s amazing how much they know and sense.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:02 pm
Also, she reminded me that we can call, email or visit an in-person support group between now and the next chat.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 7:02 pm
I’d be lost w/o this site, thank you for all the support!

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 7:02 pm
I go to the one in Malvern

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:02 pm
Finally, there is an April 7th Pet Caregiver Seminar for those in the Malvern PA area.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:03 pm
Perfect, Denise!

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:03 pm
I actually live in Connecticut so can’t get to in-person events.

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 7:03 pm
I’ll be there. It helps me

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 7:04 pm
Maybe I’ll suggest to Kathryn about having a retreat

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:04 pm
I am so very pleased that this this chat is as helpful to you as it is to me! Is there anything else that either of you wants to share before we end?

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:04 pm
Oh yes, a retreat is a fabulous idea!!!

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 7:05 pm
We can bring our pets, have sessions about pet care, hospice, etc

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:05 pm
Please let me know what she says!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 7:05 pm
I’m in Canada & doubt there’s anything of the sort, so thank you for holding this chat!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 7:05 pm
Last, Judy, since you saw the Shamrock Shake, Facebook page I have her Easter pic as my cover. Happy Easter, ladies, xx

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:06 pm
Ah, you are also quite distant from Philadelphia Laura. Isn’t it great that we all found each other?

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 7:06 pm
I’ll even help getting something together. The energy we generate as assisted me in healing so I think a weekend together could help even more so and others. Along with bonding with each other

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:06 pm
One quick question, did she really drink the Shamrock Shake?

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 7:06 pm
Very far! Watertown NY is closest as far as the US. Endlessly thankful for DBD.

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 7:06 pm
Ha! No, she posed, it was mine.

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:07 pm
Blessings, love and hugs to both of you! Happy Easter, Happy Passover, or have a great week!

Laura

March 23, 2016 – 7:08 pm
Thank you!

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 7:08 pm
Thank You Happy Easter, Passover to you ladies too

Denise

March 23, 2016 – 7:08 pm
Good night

Judy

March 23, 2016 – 7:08 pm
Good night and I hope to connect again on April 10th!